An Iceberg and Human Relationships: A Reflection from the Titanic Tragedy

In an increasingly competitive business environment, companies are required to continually innovate and enhance productivity. To achieve these goals, we proudly present the ‘New Me’ program, a training and motivational initiative addressing Me & Life, Me & Myself, Me & Others, Me & Family, Me & Nation, Me & Work, and Me & Habit. This program is designed to boost personal motivation and employee capacity, ultimately aiming to elevate workplace productivity and energy.

Principle of Relationships (Me & Others)

The Titanic tragedy teaches us a crucial lesson about how often we only see the surface of something and disregard what lies beneath. In the context of human relationships, this analogy is highly relevant. What appears on the surface—such as appearance, external behavior, or spoken words—represents only a small part of an individual. In fact, what’s visible in a person is just 5%, while their temperament comprises 95%. This implies that what lies beneath—character, values, beliefs, and temperament—is far larger and more significant.

Managing relationships, whether personal or professional, requires a deep understanding of others and their temperaments. Focusing solely on surface appearances can lead to misunderstandings and significant errors, akin to those of Captain Titanic. To truly understand someone, it’s crucial to delve deeper into the ‘iceberg’ hidden beneath the surface.

A person’s temperament, which includes basic traits and emotional responses, often comes out in stressful or conflictual situations. It is at these times that a person’s true character becomes more apparent. If we are not careful, we can fail in managing relationships because we are not prepared to deal with hidden aspects of the other person, which can be a source of conflict or incompatibility.

Self and Others Understanding

A profound understanding of oneself and others is key to building healthy and sustainable relationships. Recognizing that every person has unseen dimensions prepares us to face challenges that may arise. It also helps us to be more patient, understanding, and empathetic towards others.

Developing the skill to ‘see’ these unseen parts takes time and effort. One way to achieve this is through deep and open communication. Actively listening and seeking to understand others’ perspectives are crucial initial steps. Additionally, honest self-reflection is necessary to understand our own temperaments and values, which influence how we interact with others.

Often, problems in relationships arise because we hastily judge others based on their appearance or outward actions. For instance, someone may seem calm and composed on the surface, but under stress, their true temperament may surface, which could be vastly different from our assumptions. Understanding and preparing ourselves for these hidden aspects are critical to maintaining healthy relationships.

A Deeper Approach

A deeper approach requires us not only to focus on outward appearances but also to appreciate the complexity of individuals. This includes paying attention to non-verbal cues, observing emotional responses wisely, and providing space for authentic self-expression.

In every relationship, differences in temperament and character are unavoidable. Instead of viewing these differences as obstacles, we can see them as opportunities for growth and deeper understanding. Awareness that everyone has their own ‘icebergs’ prepares us to address differences constructively.

Respecting differences and finding ways to collaborate despite these differences are keys to successful relationships. This may involve compromise, seeking common ground, or even embracing and appreciating diversity as part of relationship dynamics.

The Titanic tragedy reminds us that focusing solely on what is visible can lead to disaster. In the context of human relationships, this emphasizes the importance of deeper and more thoughtful understanding of others. External appearances only reflect a small part of an individual, while hidden temperaments and characters play a much more significant role.

By paying attention to and understanding the ‘icebergs’ of human beings, we can build stronger, healthier, and more meaningful relationships. This process requires patience, openness, and continuous effort, but the result is deeper and more satisfying connections. Thus, we not only avoid fatal mistakes like those of the Titanic but also create closer and more authentic bonds with others.

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Be part of the positive change towards a greater Indonesia by leveraging the resources and support from Qando Qoaching. For more information on enhancing relationships and self-understanding, visit Group.

There, you will find how Qando Qoaching can help you achieve your full potential in life and relationships.

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